Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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