we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
