He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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