At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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