Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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