I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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