were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So many bounce houses so little time
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
