Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
