in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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