on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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