we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
