Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
