Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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