If i come over, it means nothing
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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