forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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