Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
