this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
