Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
