physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
