what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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