By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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