I could make wine with my vomit
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
