sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
