low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
