so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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