I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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