I wannas sexs uuuuu
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
