Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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