Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I had to cum in my sink.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
