would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i need some magic done to my vagina
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
