I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
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