I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
