Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
