if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
sex in a hospital.. check
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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