Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
