Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
