glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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