There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
