there's paper in my vomit.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
