i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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