I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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