I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
