I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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