if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
