Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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