they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
