I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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