Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
