i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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