she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
