the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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