when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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