My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
