I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
