i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
