I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
