He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
