We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
